Get Ready For It

I am waiting like most of the northeast for Hurricane Sandy to arrive. In the meantime I am drinking red wine and listening to some Ol' Blue Eyes. Because really, what else am I going to do? And let's face it;  Frank Sinatra's music makes everything a bit better.

As I await for this unwanted storm to show her ugly side I would like to recap on a few things that "went down" today.

I went to the grocery store to pick up a few more items. What I did NOT get was bread, milk or eggs but what I did get was barbecue chicken wings and Oreo's. Oh no! Maybe I should have purchased milk to go with those cookies! Regardless, there was a TON of  frantic people in the grocery store making mad dashes pass me. I was gingerly going about my business in slow motion because I am always clueless what to get in these situations because if you lose power things will spoil. So why all the produce people?

My main observation? The "single" individuals that were just like myself. How do I know this? Because usually "couples" tackle the emergency grocery shopping together, it's a Sunday and I am completely nosey. I check the ring finger (and yes I know rings do come off but they also carry a heavy weight mark when they do) and because each single male had mostly single serving items. So I say the calm before the storm at your local grocery store is a fantastic place to possibly scope out your local singles. Just my own silly little theory.

Moving on I decided to go to Target because I didn't think I could brave this storm without a pair of leggings or a pair of chadeliar earrings. Because during a possibly potentially dangerous hurricane both of these items are highly necessary.

 I am currently not wearing either of my brand new Target finds but I am wearing my New York Jets slippers (They lost today! Shocker!) , a Yankees t-shirt and my wine glass is half-filled. Sounds optimistic!

Let's all keep in mind what is important this evening: being safe and staying buzzed. It's about the only thing getting me through tonight during all these weather warnings on television.

Whatever is going to happen is, well, going to happen. "That's Life" ~Frank Sinatra

Ready For Halloween My Friends?

Here I am! And.....I am back. I had taken a short break (almost two months to be exact) from blogging because I spent the past month rescuing my friend out of a Guatemalan prison. Relax, I am just kidding.  

So here we are. It's already past the middle of October and were gearing up for Halloween. This is my, by far,  most favorite holiday. No pressure! Eating candy and dressing up like it's your job. Sounds like a good time to me.

You can be most ANYTHING you want to be without any judgment. For females, you could be a nurse, or a slutty nurse. Maybe a devil, or a slutty devil. Even a cowgirl, or a a slutty cowgirl. I think your catching my drift. Anything goes. But for men? What could a man be that is considered risky and seductive? I would say a plumber. The line " Hi Miss,  Someone called a plumber? I'm here to clean your pipes " is pretty much quoted in every D-list porn flick. Not that I would know. Or would I? Regardless, their is always some dirty mattress or fish tank that catches the eye of the viewer beyond the actual "acting" every time. Now let's get back to the topic of Halloween, shall we?

My ability to engage talking to someone rarely fails me. I like to talk to everyone and just about anyone- who will listen. Just the other day I was at the make-up counter looking to replace my lipgloss with the same shade. As the girl is working her heart out to find it ( and clearly does not want to be bothered beyond finding my gloss, ringing me up and then sending me on my merry little way) I feel the need to talk her ears off. Finally, just as her head pops above the glass display I cut her off to ask her what she is going to be for Halloween. Her eyes lit up! I knew I would get her to like me. She replies that they are out of my shade and then responds with " I am going to two parties and I am going as a couple." Totally patting myself on the back for getting this girl I have known for all five minutes to open up to me I reply back with " I love couple costumes! Soooooo,  tell me what your boyfriend and you are going as !" Her eyes look down and she quietly replies " My girlfriend. I have a girlfriend." Still enthusiastic (because now I feel like that opens up even more of a world of possibilities for them!) I tell her if I had a plus one I would want to be a swimming victim with fake blood all over me and my  boyfriend could be the shark better know as JAWS. She lights up, knowing I am all business when it comes to Halloween and says their thinking of being Zombies. A few more minutes pass by and my large caboose of an ass has pretty much made a spot on the counter gently pushing off the featured blushes on sale for the month. You would of thought we were long lost buddies. Just then a customer comes to the counter and I have decided that I should let my new friend make a few sales. I tell her to have a nice Halloween, she tells me the same and then I make my way to the perfume counter. New friends?!

I hope she has fun at her parties. And even though I am not attending any parties leading up to Halloween I am taking myself to the West Village in NYC on the actual day. I will meet up with friends, enjoy looking at all the costumes that people have worked so hard on all year on and if I'm lucky to have a few cocktails with a drag queen. For me, I have crafted my costume and it is anything but sexy. I would NEVER want to compete with the lovely drag queens downtown! But it's me. It's what happens when I have access to a hot glue gun, a ton of felt and a dream. And you all will get to know on the 31st of October.

I hope everyone has a good time and if you see me downtown please come by and chat with me! I promise not to talk your ear off.

Happy Halloween my friends!